Are the Experts Right or Is It All Hype???

**This blog entry imported from my previous blog FYI I’m Erika Online**

Greetings to you and thanks for tuning in to this episode of FYI I’m Erika Online!

I haven’t written in a few weeks because when I had the time, I couldn’t think of anything worth writing about. Although I had some ideas, they just weren’t for me to write on at the time. Anyway, today I’ve decided that I’d like to talk about something that affects many people of all races, backgrounds and social statuses. It’s more of an ideaology; something intangible rather than tangible. So please try and follow along…

So what is the title all about? Basically it’s something that I’ve thought about more and more over the years. When I was growing up, many times if we would hear about someone that was seeing- please allow me to be un-PC for the sake of keeping it real –  “a shrink”. We were given the idea by those around us and older than us that these individuals were just crazy. At other times, behavioral experts and scholars with more degrees than a thermometer (thx Pastor) would make bold proclamations about why certain persons and groups act as they do…but we were taught that these statements and ideas were just excuses for wrong-doers and offenders. This is the idealogy that I’m speaking of: denying that cause and effect operates in the lives of individuals.

I went and saw Tyler Perry’s “For Colored Girls on opening weekend. If you don’t know me well, you may not know that I’m not that big on movies but I actually want to purchase this when it’s released on DVD. Why? Because, like many other women, all races included (we’re all “colored”, ya know but that’s another blog), I identified with all or part of each and every woman’s inner struggle in the film. The one who is the closest to what I’m blogging about today is the character “Tangie” played by Thandie Newton. We learn in the film that she acted out from what had happened to her as a young girl. Sounds like cause and effect to me…

This morning as I drove to work, I was listening to Rickey Smiley’s morning show. There was a psychologist on speaking about bullying. One of the statements that he made was something to effect that violent hip hop doesn’t make kids act violently but it does incite something that is already there. Boy, don’t I know this! Driving home yesterday, 102 Jamz mixed “Move, Get Out the Way” (that’s the G rated title) into ‘the traffic jam’…I noticed that I was really ’bout to run somebody over because they were going slower than me! Fortunately I noticed, laughed and controlled myself. Yet again, we have cause and effect at work.

Finally, I get to my point! Some of these things that experts, scholars and research have been telling us for years is true. Many of us were programmed by our surroundings that these findings were just hype, something for these ppl to do for money or for stage. It’s sad that we write ppl off as being “crazy” or “social delinquents” without trying to actually help them combat the root of the actions. Please don’t think that I’m being “an excuser” because I do believe that we make our own decisions no matter what has happened, and that we are accountable for our actions. But we need to recognize that what Mr. Donald does now is a result of what Lil’ Donnie went through. How Monica reacts under pressure is related to how she was mishandled as young Monie. We have to stop telling ourselves that we are crazy for needing to get help to release things that have haunted us all of our lives. Those of us are too prideful and stuck in the “crazy” mindset that we’ll never seriously consider seeing a professional can release by other means like writing, poetry, singing or doing something “really crazy” like talking to yourself in the mirror. I’m not ashamed to admit that I’ve done imaginary talk shows w/ Oprah before to get stuff off my chest. Even though it was just me (myself & I declined to come), I bore my soul to imaginary Oprah and was able to move on. When you don’t get the negativity out of you, it will come out when you get upset or hurt. Then you could end up in handcuffs or 6 feet under if you blow up on the wrong person at the wrong time.

Well, that’s it for right now. I hope you got something out of reading this post.

Thanks again for visiting my blog!

Deuces n Smooches! ~ Diva

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